Who's In, Who's Out?

In Emily White’s Essay “High School’s Secret Life,” she paints us a reminiscent picture in great detail of the sights, sounds, and smells of the social life in a high school setting. She describes peer groups as tribes. During my time of high school, these same groups she describes as tribes, I referred to as cliques. I never really considered myself to be part of a clique in particularly, but I had a close group of friends who I hung out with more than others due to our common interest in sports. Even though I don’t feel that we were “cliquey” in that we didn’t exclude other, we did always seemed to get sucked into the rumors, which included discussions about recent breakups, cool parties, and what we assumed all those other kids in the high school were up too.

Similar to Emily White’s definition of the social gatherings in the cafeteria, I can also the center of my high school universe being the cafeteria. In particular I remember this being the place where rumors would fly and teasing would begin. Sometimes this was my peers’ ridicule of me. Most of it wasn’t worth worrying about at the time, but it’s natural to feel offended. I was at times made fun of because I didn’t go along with the group’s ideas. Although this was usually as innocent as a difference in style of clothes, I was sometimes teased for not choosing to participate in risky behaviors. At this point it often felt more like a gang initiation rather than just some innocent teasing.

I also had a unique situation in high school in that my stepsister and I were in the same grade. I would often be on the other end hearing rumors and true accusations about her and her friends. I always had to make the tough choice to choose between defending my sister or going along with the fun, at the expense of others, with my friends.

In contrast in White’s experience, I had a ticket to social expectance, which was my skills on the basketball court. Due to this gift, I hung out with others who were athletically inclined in some way. I never had to try to fit in with this tribe – it just all came naturally. My involvement in athletics opened doors into a more popular setting for me later in high school. Although this would have allowed for me to become part of a much more exclusive tribe, I never felt comfortable.

I was able to relate to Emily’s White description of high school in many ways and also found some differences. Now 12 years out of high school it sure is interesting to reflect on how high school and whether or not I fit into certain social groups could have shaped a lot of the person I am today.